At age 57, and 37 years of having one, or both of my adult daughters living home, my husband and I were facing the possibility of having an empty nest. We had experienced this a few times before. 2007-2008 both of our daughters were in college. It was a tough year for me. I loved having one or both girls here. Summer came quickly and they were both back home Our older daughter graduated college that year so she was going to be home for an undetermined amount of time. In 2009 she met a guy and in September of that year moved to Philadelphia with him.
So he we were, second time as empty nesters as our younger daughter was still in college. I honestly don’t remember being as sad as the first time. Maybe I could get used to this new normal. In early 2010 our older daughter was offered a very good job in Boston and although she was still living in Philly she decided to take the job and moved back home. The project in Philly that her boyfriend was on was due to end and he’d be moving back within 6 months. In mid 2010 they became engaged and within a few months had bought a house together. As she moved out I thought to myself, this is it, she’s starting a new life and will never live home again. Although sad for me, I was happy for her. In June of 2011 my niece from Florida and her boyfriend came to live with us for the summer. This was one of the best summers! The house was buzzing with activity from morning to night. I loved having them here and they quickly became like my own kids. When the summer was over and it was time for them to leave I was so sad to see them go. It was as if I was watching my own kids leave the nest. Our younger daughter graduated college that year so I knew she’d be home for while which made me happy. In 2013, 2 years after graduating college with a degree in journalism & psychology, she decided to get her masters degree in early education and become a teacher. I had told her that now is the time to do this as she was living home and didn’t have to worry about paying rent. This was a 2 year night course so I knew she’d be living home for at least another couple years. This again made me happy.
Also in 2013 our older daughter gave birth to our first grandchild, a beautiful baby boy. Being a stay at home mom and being away from her mom was hard for her so in January of 2014, our older daughter, her husband and our grandson moved in with us while building a home closer to us. I thought to myself, and here I thought she’d moved out forever! We were thrilled to have them and transformed our dining room into a master suite for our daughter and husband and our grandson took the spare room upstairs. We kiddingly named our older daughter our “boomerang child”. I was so happy to have both my girls living home and an added bonus of having my grandson here too! After being here for a couple months our older daughter announced that she was expecting their second child. We were over the moon happy and joked that this child would have to sleep in a closet as there was no more room at the inn, lol! In late December of 2014 we welcomed our beautiful little granddaughter. A few weeks later they moved out and into their new home. I knew this would definitely be the last time she lived here. It was the best 15 months! It was priceless to spend that time with our grandson, and to welcome our new granddaughter. Not many grandparents get that opportunity.
Fast forward to 2020. Our younger daughter earned her masters degree in 2017 and had a heavy load of student loans. As much as she was ready to move out, she knew it would be too difficult to afford rent and pay her loans. We told her there was no rush, she could live here as long as she wanted or needed. She landed a great teaching job in Marblehead as a reading and writing tutor for 5th graders. In January of 2020 my husband got a call from the woman who rented an apartment at his families property. She was moving out. Our younger daughter has always wanted that apartment and when she found out asked her dad if she could rent the apartment. After checking with his family she was told that the apartment was hers! She was ecstatic! There were maintenance projects that needed to be done before she could move in but was told the apartment would be ready by May. With her moving out in May, this would make my husband and I true empty nesters. Wow, could this really be happening???? For the first time in our marriage we’d actually have the house to ourselves, for real. No kids coming home from college, no kids coming to live with us while houses were being built. This was it, the real thing. Of course a part of me was sad. I love having my daughters here. But I had come to the realization that the birds are supposed to leave the nest, it’s the way it should be.
As May approached I found myself getting excited for this new chapter in our lives. For 36 years we’d had only a handful of times that we were alone. It was exciting to think of us reconnecting and getting to know each other again as husband and wife, not Mom & Dad or Grammy & Papa.
In March when COVID hit things got a bit crazy. The world shut down. Our younger daughter was still living with us, as the maintenance projects were still being done in her apartment. She wasn’t working, as schools closed due to COVID. I had started my own business in 2017 and had been working from home, and my husband runs his own business through our home. We were all here together, all day, everyday. We made the best of it by binge watching TV series and watching movies from the 80’s & 90’s.
At this time my niece was dating a guy from North Carolina who we’d met. She had gone down there to stay for a while as she wasn’t working due to Covid. They decided he should move up here with her when she came back home, but he needed a place to stay. Knowing that we were going to have 2 empty bedrooms we offered for him to stay here until they could get an apartment together. I thought, no big deal, it’ll only be a few months. We’ve gone this long without an empty nest, what’s another few months right? So in April, 2 weeks before our younger daughter moved out, our houseguest moved in. One week later he & my niece broke up. Not sure what he’s going to do, we tell him he can stay until the end of the summer to figure things out. No big deal. He’s a nice guy, easy to have around, and it’s only an extra couple months.
The end of April is here and our younger daughter starts moving her stuff into her new apartment. I’m so excited for her! I start looking around the room and I find myself envisioning the room as my new “she room”, a girlie, tranquil room for me to relax in, but at the same time its hitting me that both of my girls will have flown the nest. Except for those few times of having an empty nest, we’ve always had at least one of them living here. It’s definitely the end of an era…or is it?
As our younger daughter moves the last of her things out of her room we get a call from our older daughter. The last 6 months have been very challenging and she’s going through a very difficult time, which we were aware of. Remember, we’re in the throws of Covid, kids aren’t in school, her husbands not working, she’s not working. She asks if it’s ok to come stay here for a week to try and regroup. Of course we say yes, she’s our daughter.
Its now May. Our younger daughter has settled in and is loving her new apartment! Our older daughter is now living with us and our grandkids are spending every other week here. Yes, the “boomerang child” is back. And trust me when I tell you, I say that with love. Our houseguest will be moving out in August, and the grandkids will take that room. I no longer care about having a “she room”. My husband and I are only in our late 50’s. And 50’s are the new 30’s right?! We have plenty of time to be empty nesters. As for now, we will enjoy the full nest. Besides, the walls of the room are happier having our daughter within them and the sounds of children’s laughter bouncing off of them. ❤️