A year later my sister was born. Being almost 9 years apart I felt more like a mother figure to her than a sister. I loved having a little sister but the age gap made it difficult to be close. We didn’t have a lot in common. It would be many years later until she became more than just a little sister and became one of my closest and best friends.

I graduated high school in 1981 and attended a local state college for 1 1/2 years. I honestly had no idea what I wanted to study or what I wanted to “be”, so I left college and started working full time at an insurance agency. What I did know is that I wanted to be a wife and a mother. I started dating my husband in the summer of 1981. Ironically he worked with my dad at a local auto body shop. I had told my dad how I though Phil was cute and I’d like to go on a date with him. My dad, in his typical “blurt out” way, then asks Phil, “when are you going to ask my daughter out on a date?”. A week later Phil & I went out on our first date. He took me to a small beach amusement park on the coast. We rode the go carts and as I was turning a corner my purse fell out of my go cart, opened up, and all the contents were strewn all over the track. I was so embarrassed. Phil stopped his go cart, got out, and retrieved my purse and all its contents. This is when I knew he was a keeper! Of course he says he picked up my purse so he could take my money, lol. He didn’t steal anything from me that night except my heart. ❤️

Two years later we were married. There was no big proposal. Truth be told, I was the one who asked, “so, when are we getting married?”. (I guess I have a little of my dads blurt out tendencies in me, lol). That was in January of 1983 and in August of that year we exchanged our vows. Honestly, this was the best day of my life. We lived in an apartment for a year and then bought our first home in 1984, still in the same small town. I remember mine & Phil’s parents joking and saying, “new house, new baby”. We laughed, but the joke was on us. After living in our new house for only 2 months I found out I was pregnant. In September of 1985 we welcomed our first child, a beautiful baby girl. I remember thinking, this is what I’ve always wanted.
Adjusting to motherhood at 22 years old was a bit hard. I didn’t have anyone to hang out with. My friends were just graduating college and starting their careers. I felt alone. Thank goodness my mom and Phil’s mom lived in town. I spent most of my time at either one of their houses. It was great to have both of their input on motherhood and advice on how to raise my daughter. Their tidbits of advice are now words of wisdom and time spent with each of them are cherished memories. In June of 1989 we welcomed our second child, another beautiful baby girl. I felt so blessed and lucky to have two beautiful daughters. I hoped that being closer in age (only 3 1/2 years apart) they would be close and good friends growing up, which they were and still are.
In 1998 we built a house and moved a couple miles from where we lived. We lived with my parents for 6 months while building our home. We took over their attic and made it into an apartment. Some may look at this as something they’d never want to do, live with their parents as parents, but for us it was one of the best times we’ve spent with them. Spending time with my parents and them being able to spend time with their grandchildren was priceless. I’m so glad we had that opportunity. If you read my first post you’ll now understand how we came to know the value of having your grandkids live with you.
Time went fast, girls grew up, graduated high school & college, our older daughter got married, life was good. And then in August of 2013 something happened that would shake me to my core. My mom was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. This was a huge bombshell to all of us. From the day my mom found out she had lung cancer my sister and I spent all of our free time with her & my dad. We rotated the schedule of taking her for radiation and chemotherapy treatments. Even her 3 older grandchildren (my 2 daughters & my sisters daughter) wanted to be included in the rotation. I remember going over to my parents house every morning before work to make sure my mom was ok or help her get breakfast, then going back over on my lunch hour, and then going over after work and spending a couple hours with her. This was an extremely difficult time for my mom as the treatments weakened her tremendously. In December of that year, after 3 months of daily treatments, the doctor told my mom that she was in remission. We were ecstatic and had to much to be thankful for that Thanksgiving. She gained her strength back and looked great. We were so relieved to have that behind us. She had a follow up PT scan in February of 2014 and as my mom, my dad, my sister, and I sat in the doctors office we were struck again with a bombshell. Her cancer had come back and was now in her liver & spine. As we sat their, our heads hung, my mom picked up her head and with a smile said, “it is what it is, can I still go to Florida?”. She had such strength, more than I ever realized until that moment. My parents went to Florida, she opted to have treatments while there. My sister and I flew down in April to visit. When we got there we immediately noticed how fragile she looked and how the treatments were again taking their toll on her. She wasn’t able to do much and ended out in the hospital while we were there. We left a week later, although in my heart I knew we shouldn’t be leaving but knew my dad and her close friends would help her. Five days later we flew back to Florida, as my mom was back in the hospital and now required oxygen. We went back to bring my parents home. This was too much for my dad to do on his own, even with the help of her friends. We booked our flight home and as I sat next to my mom as the plane took off she looked out the window and said, “bye Florida”. I told her she’d be back next year and she looked at me and held up her hand with fingers crossed. When we got home my mom went on hospice palliative care. I told my job that I’d be working only half days so I could help my mom in the afternoons. My sister spent mornings with her and my dad had evenings and night shift.
On May 1st, at the young age of 69, only 3 weeks after bringing her home from Florida, my mom passed away surrounded by my dad, my sister, and myself. This completely devastated me. It is by far the deepest form of pain I have ever experienced. The following year was extremely difficult for me (as well as my dad & sister), and I floundered and felt so lost. I tried to be strong for my dad but I was falling apart inside. I went through a deep depression and part of me checked out of life. I kept thinking, where is my life going?, what if my life is short like my moms was? I needed to find something to do with my life that was for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a wife, a mom , a Grammy, but I needed something to do that would fulfill that part of my soul that’s only for me. I left my job and did daycare for my grandkids for about a year, until my daughter decided to be a stay at home mom, which I was happy about. I toyed with different ideas and job options for the next year, not knowing at all what I was going to do.
In November of 2017 I saw some cute Christmas craft ideas made out of pallet wood. We had some pallets in the yard so I took them apart and created some decorations for the house. I posted what I made on Facebook and was peppered with inquiries asking if I would make these to sell. I thought, ya I can do that, and so I did. I made about $1,000 in that one month. I loved painting and creating these wood pieces and after the holidays told my husband that I thought I could make a go of a business doing this. He supported me 100% and I began my business, Rustic Sentiments.

It’s now 2021, my business is well established and actually thriving despite the pandemic. I love what I do and I feel I’ve found that piece of my life that was missing. It’ll be 7 years this May that my mom has been gone. I miss her every single day, but I feel her presence around me. She’s in my artwork, she’s in the sunshine, she’s in the laughter of my daughters and grandchildren. She’s always with me, and if I ever need her, I only need to look inside of my heart, for there is where she lives on. ❤️